Tuesday, April 14, 2015

A lesson from a 4-year-old

It's funny how we find lessons in life, relationships, parents, spirituality, etc...  Some lessons hit you smack square in the face, and others, you have to delve deep to find the meaning.  Well, I'm not a deep person.  Never have been.  So I like to get my wisdom and life lessons from someone who I can understand.  In this case, it's a 4-year-old -- Brasier Kale Duvall.

Now B-man is quite the smart little fellow.  I think he is well mature beyond his years.  His comprehension and language skills are leaps and bounds over where my kids were when they were that age.  So it would be easy to see how he could be so independent and so vocal about his opinions.  Oh, and he's spoiled -- a lot!!  Mostly by Dennis who teaches him bad habits and gets him in trouble.  But I digress...back to my life lesson.

So his Nanny Glenda told a story of how one day he was at their house playing the Wii.  He was having trouble with whatever game it is -- he plays them all, so I'm not sure which one it was, but for the sake of the story, we will say it was baseball.  He couldn't hit the ball.  Swing and a miss.  And then, fall on your face, fit......I'm mean a FIT!!  Poppy Bill was trying to help and, of course B-man didn't really think he needed any.  So his quick reply was, "Poppy, you don't know what you're doing." (or something to that effect.)

You don't know what you're doing....that's how I feel right now.  I don't know what I'm doing when it comes to dealing with grief.  I don't know what I'm doing when trying to figure out how to live a day without my parents.  Just like new parents who "don't know what they're doing" so is the person who has lost their parents.

But B-man, being the independent and strong willed little boy that he is, did just what he should do.  He went back to the Wii, picked up the remote and started playing again.  All of a sudden, he hit the ball.  Then he hit it again.  And wouldn't you know it, when we were over there the other night, he hit a homerun!!  Had he just given up and laid in the floor and quit, what would have happened?  Poppy still wouldn't know anything, and B would still be swinging at air.

So that's what I'm trying to do today.  Even though I "don't know what I'm doing," my parents were very adamant about the fact that I don't NEED anyone else to take care of me.  I don't say that to sound mean or even boastful.  We all need people.  But dad made sure I could take care of a lot of stuff on my car, or if I couldn't I knew where to start.  Mom made sure I could cook (maybe not well), do laundry, balance a checkbook.  Dad always told me that he wanted to make sure I never HAD to depend on a man....again, not a slight to Dennis.  His parents raised him the same way -- where he didn't have to depend on a woman.  (Seriously, he's a better cook than I am, and he most definitely does more laundry than me LOL) And the same with our kids -- we love our kids-in-law, but before they ever came into the picture, our kids could both do their laundry, cook, take care of vehicles, had jobs when they were really not old enough to have one, learned how to manage their money, and just take care of themselves in general.  I think it's pretty obvious they are both very independent, and for that, I am most proud, as is Dennis.

I don't know what I'm doing.  But like Brasier, I will pick up my "control" and make it through the game of "life".  There will be struggles, and I will throw a fit, just like he did.  But then just like he did the other night, I'll hit the home run.  I will try everyday to do better and be better in all aspects of my life and my relationships.  It's the way I was raised.  When you're down, you pick yourself up and start over again. 

Thanks Brasier for the lesson!


How cute is this!!  About a year ago -- when he stayed at our house for the night -- getting ready for bedtime stories.

And this is the reason why our children will never let our grandchildren stay with us!! :)  Nothing like a sock'em bop'em fight before breakfast!